Conspiracies Backed by ‘Science’ – Really?
If I see one more TikTok about the earth being flat, I think I’m going to spontaneously combust. Why are there so many conspiracies out there? Surely there must be some kind of ancient bylaw to prevent Nutjob Nigel from making these videos from his mum’s airing cupboard in Leamington Spa.
These theories come with “science” that would make a GCSE Science teacher weep. Meanwhile, people who’ve actually spent their lives studying astrophysics are shaking their heads and wondering why they bothered with student loans.
The trouble is, conspiracy theorists never stop at one. First, the Earth is flat. Then the moon landings are fake. Then lizards are running the government…
Conspiracies and Custard!
Brenda down the road is convinced her Alexa is spying on her (spoiler alert: it probably is, but only so it can gather information about whether she buys own-brand or Ambrosia tinned custard). Next thing you know, your Auntie Maureen will be telling you that her COPD isn’t caused by her 40 year smoking habit, but by the chemicals landing on her Astro turf lawn from the people spraying the sky with mind-altering drugs to control us all.
If you believe these people, then there’s a massive ice wall keeping us from discovering the edge of the world. Because obviously, worldwide governments agree on absolutely nothing, except keeping you and me from toddling off the edge like lemmings. And just beyond that wall, there’s a glass dome. Not just any dome, but the cosmic equivalent of a badly made snow globe that covers the entire planet, yet nobody saw it being built!
Cosmic Comedy!
But the pièce de résistance, my personal favourite, is that Australia is a hoax. It’s not a real country. The 26 million people who “live” there are just actors. Paid ones. By whom? The government, of course. But don’t ask which government, because apparently all governments work together flawlessly on this, despite not being able to agree on trade deals or whether they should serve up garibaldi biscuits at a summit! According to the believers of this absurd nonsense, all maps are fake, globes are fake, and so is Australia.” But the best part is when real Aussies reply online with:
“Hi, I’m commenting from my fake house in fake Sydney while eating fake Vegemite on fake toast.”
Honestly, the comments sections are comedy gold.
So, let’s all embrace the cosmic comedy. Maybe the world is flat. Maybe we are living under a dome. Or maybe, just maybe, some people really need to shut YouTube off at 2 am and get a hobby that doesn’t involve a corkboard, post-it notes and red string.
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