Tag: Funny blog
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Something to get my teeth stuck into: The Election!
I need something to get my teeth stuck into! I seem to have been set adrift recently, without doubt I’ve been off course over the last few weeks. For the first time in many months I found myself without an opinion and nothing much to say. Well relatively speaking anyway. If you’d popped into Nail…
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Armageddon? No, It’s Just The Local Elections
At the time of writing Armageddon hadn’t quite arrived in the UK, but you could be forgiven for thinking it had. Last week we had horses covered in blood running amok on the streets of London, whilst Big Ben suddenly stopped at precisely 9am. Scary stuff. Was the world coming to an end? Had someone…
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Latest Observations: The SAS has arrived at the Stadium!
OK, you’ve asked for it, here are my latest observations! The dawn chorus has started. There are 85 million birds on my roof having a rave and the bloody cat is nowhere to be seen, again. Presumably she’ll turn up the moment I pour milk into my cereal. That’s what usually happens if I decide…
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Dating round two
Why am I doing this? Here it is, dating round two! As you are no doubt already aware from my previous rants, I have recently joined a dating site. This is nothing unusual these days, since meeting anyone in social situations is fraught with problems. Even striking up a conversation with another person appears to…
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I think I could be dead!
Am I going mad? Now you may not all agree with this, but I think I’m a relatively level headed pragmatic individual. Not prone to delusional episodes or paranoia. However, I think I could be dead. No, I’m being serious. I’ve just had to check that I can’t walk through walls and haven’t suddenly become…
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My mother has stolen the butler!
She’s on the roof again What am I supposed to do now? My mother has stolen the butler. He’s gone for the whole week. Who will make my morning cuppa now that my butler is 15 miles away painting my mother’s house? Damn it! I thought she could at least paint her own house. After…
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Newspapers and Pop Ups: Frustratingly Annoying To All
Newspapers and Pop ups, aaargh! Imagine the scenario. I reach for my phone to find that it’s still only 5.51am. I’ve already lost an hours sleep thanks to delights of Daylight saving time and now I have to look forward to the joys of British Summer Time….. I think it was a Wednesday last year…….summer…
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The Latest Fashion Trend To Avoid: Dry Robe W*nkers!
The latest fashion trend to avoid, in my humble opinion, of course! My mother has adopted yet another Olympic sport as an octogenarian. At almost 83 she’s unstoppable! Sky diving, zip wiring, climbing, the list is endless. And now she has taken up cold water swimming. Yes! In the sea and in January! Anyway, last…