At the time of writing Armageddon hadn’t quite arrived in the UK, but you could be forgiven for thinking it had. Last week we had horses covered in blood running amok on the streets of London, whilst Big Ben suddenly stopped at precisely 9am. Scary stuff. Was the world coming to an end? Had someone assassinated the King? No, it was all an attempt to distract us from the dire situation the government was in.
Local Election Disaster for Tory’s
We are on the cusp of a General Election and the Tory party is now so unpopular that they think the only way to retain power is by discouraging as many people as possible from voting at all.
Friday was undeniably a very bad day for the current UK Government. Utterly trounced at the local elections and now in complete denial, they’re claiming that the results are somehow acceptable! They are currently trying to hide behind claims that the next election is sure to result in a hung parliament and that Labour won’t be able to form a majority Government. It’s all smoke and mirrors I’m afraid and this is exactly what you’d expect from a party that having dug a hole big enough to bury the Titanic, has decided the best policy is to keep digging.
In Denial Mr. Sunak?
Despite manifestly lacking any credible public support, Sunak is still banging on about immigrants in dinghies, benefit scroungers and other ridiculous concepts which he seems to think will encourage the British people to vote him and his party in again. Unfortunately, the only thing the electorate is looking at right now is his party’s track record, which is diabolical. Do they seriously not care?
If losing almost 500 seats is only a mild disappointment one does wonder what it would take to make the Tories despair. They’ve had the worst local election results since 1990’s and it would appear they think it’s all fine and they should carry on with their ‘plans’. But let’s face facts, whilst these results are unsurprising, they confirm everything we already knew, which is that the Tories are steaming towards the edge of the cliff at over 100mph (obviously not in Wales because we can only do 20mph here!). Despite an utterly humiliating defeat they seem hell bent on self immolation.
The Cause of Tory Armageddon?
So what exactly is to blame for this inauspicious accolade? Is it the fact that we’ve had 4 different Prime ministers parachuted into number 10 since 2019 and, by my reckoning, they’ve got progressively worse.
Teresa May
It all started with Teresa May…remember her? So devoid of emotion that she couldn’t even sympathise with the victims of the Grenfell disaster. She turned up after about 2 weeks with a face like a plasterer’s radio.
Boris Johnson
Then we had Boris the Boast and his bumbling inadequacies. If brains were dynamite that man couldn’t blow his own nose. He guffawed his way through the pandemic talking piffle and spent most of his time in office having a knees up, whilst the rest of us were being pursued by the authorities during Covid for trivial infringements like trying to buy socks!
Liz Truss
Who could possibly forget the utter fiasco of Liz Truss, the 7 week wonder. In less than 5 weeks she screwed up the economy so badly that it’ll take generations to recover. It’s no wonder nobody likes her. She’s the sort of woman that you just know from the moment you set eyes on her that you want to buy her a toaster……for her bath!
Rishi Sunak
Finally, we have Rishi “Cockfingers” Sunak who fucks up everything he touches. If he fell into a barrel of tits he’d still come out sucking his thumb. His tepid efforts to repair the economy have fooled no one. Like a midget at a urinal, he needs to be on his toes because rumour has it that the Tories are lining up Penny Mordaunt as his successor. (If you can’t place her, she’s the Tory MP that arrived at the Coronation dressed like the statue of liberty.) But worryingly, riding on her slipstream is Suella Braverman. Evil cow. A woman with an unscrupulous smile and teeth so large that she could eat an apple through a letter box! If she somehow managed to make it to the top of the pile I think most of us would be queuing up to be deported to Rwanda.
What About The Opposition?
The big problem is that they’re all fecking useless. This includes the opposition. Sir Kier is a bitter disappointment to most hard-nosed Labour supporters and about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking competition.
It should be a huge worry to us all that in a nation with a population of almost 70 million there isn’t anybody credible left with the ability to govern effectively.
I’d offer to do it myself, but I don’t think anyone out there is interested in my unpopular opinions these days…unless they’re wrapped around a brick! So, Armageddon it is then!
If you find yourself nodding away to my ramblings, or maybe even having a chuckle, then click here to read more!
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