BBC News – It’s all Doom!
All the recent fuss over BBC News has got me wondering about whether I’m getting the full unabridged version of the facts. Everywhere on social media I read that it’s biased and frankly misleading. So today I decided to put the news on the TV to see what all this kerfuffle is about.
I wasn’t disappointed. At 7.57am I switched on just in time for the weather report, to hear that we can say good riddance to the British Summer! It was a Wednesday this year if I recall correctly! September has arrived with a vengeance again! A whole year has passed and it’s still fecking raining. Already we’ve had flash floods and fog. Plus, according to this morning’s report, by Friday we can expect the first frosts….although I’m not entirely confident that the last frosts have stopped yet. I definitely recall having my electric blanket on in June. All we need is a few feet of snow and I’ll be thoroughly convinced that we’re re-entering an ice age.
…..Or Random
I also learned that a new statue of the late Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip was unveiled in Antrim Castle Gardens yesterday. I say that somewhat loosely because the consensus of public opinion so far is that it doesn’t resemble the late queen in any way, shape or form. OK, it’s a very nice bronze. But it’s one thing to engage in a little Christmas crafting or stage a do it yourself renovation of an old table you found on Facebook Marketplace; and entirely another to take on a commission for a bronze of potentially the most famous head of state in the world and then roll out a caricature of Wallace and Gromit! What is this world coming to? It just looks like a random old bird in a padded gilet and headscarf surrounded by stray dogs!
Which brings me to pets.
Clearly, I need to keep a careful eye on Misty my cat. Why? According to Donald Trump she’s highly likely to be eaten by immigrants. If I laugh anymore I think I’m going to need an ambulance. I’ve already spat my tea across the lounge. With delusions and ambition that vastly outweigh his skills, this incompetent egomaniac is about as functional as a soup sandwich. I have 90 billion nerves and Donald Trump gets on every single one. I just pray that someone can find his off switch. I’m surprised they haven’t rolled out Samuel Little or Joseph DeAngelo to run for Deputy President alongside him!
So, BBC News or Do I risk Social Media?
My dilemma now is whether I stick with mainstream news or wander into the murky depths of modern social media? Of Course it remains relatively unregulated. It’s where myths and lies have travelled around the globe before the truth has even heard the starting pistol. Social media news is just like a backstreet pub on a Tuesday night. Filled with idiot crackpot conspiracy theorists peddling all sorts of insane ideas which should never have escaped the minds of their architects. Am I really a snowflake or is this simply a term used by sociopaths to discredit the last ounce of empathy left on the planet?
It’s All Downhill From Here!
I’ve evidently reached an age where my perception of all the things with which I’m familiar is going precipitously downhill.
Yesterday I had the unmitigated pleasure of striking up a conversation with a complete stranger who randomly popped up in one of my messenger apps. Unfortunately for this gentleman I was having a particularly difficult day and suffering from an extreme sense of humour failure. So, after explaining to me at length that he was a widow from Atlanta in Georgia who worked for ExxonMobil Oil I told him that I was also a widow. I then quickly added that I had recently been released from prison after completing 40% of my 20 year sentence for murder under the UK Government’s early release scheme. Strangely, he hasn’t replied since.
Anyway, since the sun has decided to make a rare appearance this afternoon I’d best get my act together and get ready to go out for a small glass of sherry. Just keep your fingers crossed for me that I don’t slip a disc whilst doing a half nelson to zip up my dress!
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