Why am I doing this?
Here it is, dating round two! As you are no doubt already aware from my previous rants, I have recently joined a dating site. This is nothing unusual these days, since meeting anyone in social situations is fraught with problems. Even striking up a conversation with another person appears to be illegal these days. Such behaviour now amounts to an offence for which I could be arrested and thrown into the deepest darkest pit for all eternity.
But to say it has been something of an enlightenment would not be an exaggeration. Whilst I expected the inevitability of bumping into a few undesirables, nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of utter morons I have encountered.
I live in Wales. I was born here and I can even manage a few sentences in the local lingo…so I’m pretty much accustomed to jokes about sheep shaggers and Welsh accents even though I don’t have much of an accent myself. What I’m not used to and never will get used to are the outrageously stupid questions.
“Do you have electricity in Wales?”
“No mate, we don’t. I’m messaging you from my abacus, powered by a quartet of gerbils on a wheel.”
Or
“Oh I thought Cardiff was in England”
“Uhh, I think you’ll find it’s the Capital City of Wales. Where we actually hosted the FA Cup final in 2006 whilst cretins like you rebuilt Wembley stadium “
Sapiophile, really?
However, since stupidity hasn’t yet been made an offence by the Welsh Government, I guess they’re free to go. Also this was Plenty of Fish, so you could argue that I was not really getting a representative sample.
I’m contending daily with idiots who think that curry and flatulence are attractive features. Men so wretched that they look like their faces caught fire whilst out jogging and passing strangers tried to put them out with a fork.
The “viewed me” section is palpably absurd. It resembles an amalgamation of Crimewatch most wanted faces and the sex offenders register.
Can I point out that “Hi love” is not an attractive introduction!
And as for the lunatics who describe themselves as sapiophiles. Words fail me. God “Sapiophile” is a word I absolutely detest. Seriously mate! Nerd is a much better description for detestable little shits with delusions of adequacy.
The majority of mens bios are a downpour of misery and complaint, about women who have been somewhat economical with the number of birthdays they’ve had. Sanctimonious lemon sucking whingers, whining that nobody loves them. Seriously guys, most of us got over that at 15!
The whole place appears to be bubbling vat of tortured souls, premature sexual advances and awkward conversations.
It’s such a pity that ctrl-alt-del doesn’t work for men.
I evidently need to spend a little more time working on my tolerance levels. Ah well, I guess this is yet another year where I’m not going to be nominated for the Nobel Prize for Diplomacy.
If you have enjoyed reading my observations on dating round two, maybe you can relate to many of them, then check out my other blogs here. I promise they are just as ascorbic!
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