Wales Elects New Leader – My vote goes to Max

Wales elects new leader, the headlines ominously declare! News, that no doubt sent ripples of joy around Wales, is that Drippy Drakeford, poor dab, has uttered his final word, shuffled along and shot off the end of the stage. And not a minute too soon! You could be forgiven for thinking that I don’t like the man…actually I don’t have a problem with him because I don’t know him, and I’ve never met him. I’m recently widowed myself, so I did feel a slender pang of sympathy for him making his emotional leaving speech. Then I hastily reminded myself that he has the most irritatingly dull and monotonous voice and a personality as engaging as a slug on Mogadon.

Vaughan Gething

But will his replacement fair any better? Humphrey Vaughan ap David Gething…to give him his full name. Who narrowly beat his only rival with a majority of just 51.7%. Not exactly a decisive or laudable victory. He has promised to build more homes, rescue the Welsh NHS and put the creation of more green jobs at the centre of his economic plans. Well, this all sounds splendid, doesn’t it? But seriously, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. We all know that none of it will ever materialise because he’s going to have to do all this in a Wales with a billion quid less in the budget than we had in 2022! So, I think we can forget any ideas about being whisked away to cheery uplands and eternal sunshine.

There is also the not so insignficant matter of the £200,000 donation to Gethings campaign from Dauson Environmental Group who were prosecuted in 2013 for illegally dumping waste at the Gwent Levels, an area of special scientific interest and home of the Shrill Carder Bee. Since one of Gethings campaign pledges was crowing about protecting the environment this does seem like a bit of a gaffe, an unfortunate bureaucratic snafu. It would appear then that integrity is not one of his most meritoriously “piercing” qualities.

But I have always taken a somewhat jaundiced view of the Welsh Assembly Government so I will be following from the edge of my seat when they consider the application by the very same company to build a solar farm on the very same spot! Will it be a case of he who pays the piper calls tune I wonder?

And The Alternatives Were?

Unfortunately the candidate pool in this leadership campaign was rather small. Would Vaughan’s only rival, Jeremy Miles have tackled this any differently?  Apparently growing the Welsh economy would have been his top priority with plans to set up a new national economic council to advise the government…Oh Joy of joys! Another bloody semi-public government financed administrative body in a country with more quangos than sheep.

But let’s face it, all of this is just a narcissism of small differences. It wouldn’t have mattered one iota who the hell we elected, not a scintilla, a jot or speck, since they are just two cheeks of the same arse anyway.

Personally, I think we should have followed the American model and elected a doddering old git with dementia and piles. He may not have been any good at the job, but at least it would have given us all a good laugh. And let’s face it, there isn’t much to laugh at these days …..Ureka! Therein lies the solution. The perfect candidate….Max Boyce… We could get exactly the same deal from Westminster but with an added pinch of humour and a few thoroughly enjoyable gags about despising the English.

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